If you’ve been following me on Twitter you will know that R has just disappeared to the other side of the world for a few weeks. :'( Which means I have taken my chance to have a few days,
or weeks she just doesn’t know it yet! living back with one of my university housemates and best friends.
And yes it has taken us all of one day to revert to University neediness.
I had to text her when I got to work this morning, (she was worried – it was icy) and I am under strict instructions to text her when I leave so that she can put dinner on. You know, because of course we won’t just be texting each other our every thought all day anyway…
And yes, as you can probably guess, we were just as bad this for the majority of three years of University. We never went more than a few hours without checking in without each other, and we pretty much knew where we were at all times of the day. To be honest, even now we’re out in the real world we still never go much more than a day without talking.
Now, before you shake your head and start to think we’re insane hear me out. The way I see it there are two reasons for this.
Firstly, we are both quite needy people, who generally just need constant interaction.
But secondly, and more importantly I don’t think we are the only people we ended up like this.
And this is generally how it goes..
Your parents, your friends and boyfriend or girlfriend etc, help you pack up your little life into boxes, drive you off to your new home for the next three years, and (after judging your shabby new home) get everything clean, unpacked before saying their goodbyes and heading back to their own lives.
And there you are alone in the world, facing a University course that you don’t know how to deal with, in a new city, with about 1-5 THOUSAND people you have never met before. And to be completely honest, it’s probably close to the most scared you will ever feel in your life.
But then you meet these people you live with. And you get to know them and (if you’re lucky) they are lovely people.
For the next three years of your life these people who not too long ago were strangers who seemed scary are not only your best friends.
They are your friends, but they mock you, and look after you like siblings. They love you and worry about you as fiercely as your parents do. (On occasion they will scream at you like your parents do too.) They are your nurse when you’re sick, your councilor when you break up with a boyfriend, are homesick, or your dog dies and you can’t get home. They are your personal shopper, hairdresser and harshest fashion critic. They are your teacher when they understood a lecture that you just couldn’t get your head around. They’re even your temporary bank when you forgot a bill was coming in and you can’t afford to pay it (as long as you remember to pay them back) They laugh with you, laugh at you, mop up your tears and hold your hair back when you drink too much and throw it all back up again. They sit on the kitchen floor and wait for your exam results to load up on the crappy internet connection that you all hate with a passion. They congratulate you when you do well, they commiserate with you when you fail. They help you and encourage you to just keep working and getting better. They even spoon in bed with you when you’re sleepy and lonely and when you’re freezing because you can’t afford to put the heating on. They know what the difference is between hungover sad and lovesick sad. They know how stunning you can look with a bit of makeup and a nice dress and how terrible you can look when you’ve cried for an hour over nothing.
Now don’t get me wrong, I have friends who I didn’t go to University with who have done all these things with/for me and I love them with everything I have.
But I think the constant interaction with the people you live with at University, added to the fact that it’s one of the most insanely happy but also insanely stressful times of your life makes it too easy to need them. Because they literally walked every step of that journey with you. That and because you’ve got some pretty embarrassing photos/stories that you could leak if they don’t.
I can’t promise that everyone you live with at University it will stay this way with. Unfortunately, you move back home fall back in with old friends, people get married, get careers and life just gets in the way. And one, two, three, twenty years out of University you will be a very different person than you were for those three years. It inevitable.
But still, it’s nice to know that with some people, that feeling with never die, and whether it’s been two years or twenty I can still turn up on her doorstep, dump my bag and it’s like nothing has ever changed.