What the hell do I want to do for the rest of my life?

Okay, so yesterday I had a (yet another)  life crisis.

I arrived at my work digital conference with sleepy starry eyes and an open mind ready to learn. Little did I know at around this same time the guest speaker was cancelling his slot.

I assume this led to some sort of panic between the organising team and so, in a move that caused me to spend the rest of the afternoon near to tears, and spend the evening trying to drown my terror with wine they brought out a company director to talk about her career and how if we stay with this company we can be as awesome and successful as her. Obviously she didn’t say that but that was pretty much the gist I got.

Of course, after thinking about my career and possible future director-ism (?) a horrifying realisation crashed around me: I am twenty-something years old. I have many years of working life ahead of me. And most importantly, I don’t know what I really want to do for the rest of my life!


Don’t get me wrong. I love my job, I know I am so lucky to have it, and hopefully I will keep it for a long time. I’ve even done the Buzzfeed quiz and been told that I should be in exactly the job that I am in.

But here’s the problem for the majority of my generation, as I see it:

We’ve spent our entire lives being told we can do anything we want to do with our lives.

Which doesn’t sound like it should be a problem, it sounds like our parents/teachers/lecturers/friends etc; have been helpful and supportive and gave us all the choices that many of them didn’t have.

But when you have all the choices in the world how do you know you’ve picked the right one? Why can’t you have a few years of your life to try each and every one.

Yes, my job makes me happy, but how do I know that I wouldn’t be happier being a mechanic, or a ballet dancer, or a lion tamer. Okay, I don’t have the skills, talent or daring to do those things. But you get my point. 

Maybe I don’t want a job at all. Maybe I just want to sit on my sofa and watch Netflix all day. Except what they forgot to tell us was that isn’t actually one of the choices.

Yet there is still so, so, so, so, so, so, many. Unlike our parents and grandparents who were dragged into family trades, told where their grades would allow them or even a job which was suitable for their gender. We get re-takes, university, gender equality. And all of this is absolutely fantastic. But does it also creates people like myself that have spent so long being told that they can do whatever the hell they want, that the final decision takes away everything we’ve ever known. Taken away the very question we’ve been asking for the past 20 years.

What the hell do I want to do with my life? 

Now I’m not saying that I want to go back to the fifties and be forced to be a domesticated, childbearing housewife at the whim of my husband. I quite enjoy that I can be whatever I want to be.

All I’m saying is with all the choices in the world out there, how do you know you’ve made the right one?

Choices. Disasters of a twenty something.

Let me know your thoughts guys.


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